I was somewhat suspicious of CRADLE OF FEAR when I initially saw the packaging. With
the lettering on the front declaring: "Enough blood and guts to satisfy the most terminal gorehounds...,
you have been warned." it's either going to be really good, or really suck. Fortunately,
CRADLE..., is really good -- mostly.
CRADLE OF FEAR is a collection of four vignettes, tied together by some mysterious connection to a murderous but
incarcerated hypnotist, Kemper; Kemper's mysterious and apparently nameless "man on the outside" (played by
CRADLE OF FILTH singer Dani Filth); and the cop, Neilson, who is trying to figure out what's going on before
anyone else dies.
Tale #1 is the story of a goth party girl (Mel) who finds the man she believes is her "dark prince" at a club, and brings him
home. And as it turns out, she's right -- but she isn't prepared for exactly how "dark" her prince is!
This was the best tale of the movie, due in part to it's effective use of Dani Filth as the one-night stand. AND, it's
creepy enough to make you swear off designer drugs and night club pick-ups for good!
The next vignette involves a couple of tough young women who decide it'll be an easy job to rob an eccentric old hermit of
his stash of cash. Naturally, they get more than they bargained for -- in more ways than one! This
story was a bit longer than the first, and dragged in the middle. Also, the ending was fairly predictable, but
overall it was more entertaining than not.
The third story is the weakest of the four, and did very little to hold my attention. It's the story of a rich
and jaded couple who are so heartless that they hit a homeless man while speeding down a street at night, and their only
thought is "Thank god the car wasn't scratched."
Life isn't perfect for our couple, though. The man, Nick, has had his left leg amputated just above the knee,
and he doesn't seem to be able to "perform", sexually speaking, without it. He has a doctor that can fix him
up, but he's missing a leg for the transplant. So, Nick takes matters into his own hands, to good results --
for a while. Like I said before, this part was boring, and I think Chandon would've done better to pad some of
the other bits more and just have a trilogy.
The final tale is that of a young man, Richard, who works at an internet provider company. His job is to seek out
particularly nasty internet sites and compile a report on same. Problem is, he has a bit of a sadistic streak and he
really gets off on what he sees. So he's really jazzed when he happens across an interactive snuff site, where he
can control the action. Unfortunately, he keeps encountering trouble whilst accessing the site, and the more trouble
he encounters the more obsessed he becomes with finding out about the site.
This one was probably the second most entertaining story of the movie, although it isn't a difficult stretch to guess how things
will ultimately turn out for Richard.
And finally we get the grand "wrap up scene" with the detective, Kemper, and the mysterious man on
the outside. I actually didn't expect what happened here, and I think it'll come as a decent
surprise for most viewers.
Overall this was a pretty darn good movie, but it did get bogged down at parts and it could've done to be a bit shorter.
I can't say it was as good as HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES (which I wished had been a bit longer), but this nasty little gem is well worth the
time it DOES take to watch it. Another couple like this one, and I'll stop complaining about the state of current horror movies!!
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There is a WHOLE BUNCH of nudity in this here movie,
boys and girls; basically, more than I'd care to detail (and, unfortunately for me, all
female nudity.) Suffice it to say, it wins the "BOB FACTOR THUMBS UP" award! |
SCENES THAT MAKE ME GO "HMMM...,":
| 1. |
At the club, Mel is telling her friend how she's going
to bring this "dark prince" home and..., er, do things with him. So how come afterwards she's complaining
that he "f*cked me and left!" I thought that was the whole point?
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| 2. |
Nick is so bummed out about not having
a leg that he can't..., function, even though his lady is apparently not bothered at all by it.
In fact, she carries on like she's really hot about it. I guess this made sense to someone,
but I find it hard to believe a guy can be so bummed he can't "carry on" when a woman is kissing and licking his leg
stump!
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DID YOU KNOW...,:
| - |
Not only does CRADLE OF FILTH's
Dani Filth appear in CRADLE OF FEAR, but the remaining members of the band make cameos as well!
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