GRAVEYARD
2003, Fizz Films

DIRECTOR & PRODUCER: Ed Brisson  

STARRING:  Jon-Mikl Thor, James McBurney, Toren Atkinson, Butch Murphy, Joe Keithley .		   

Think you hate your job? Think your boss is a jerk? Just be glad you don't work at Ray's Twenty-Four Hour Book Store!!  

GRAVEYARD is the story of two sad-sack clerks, James and Ryan, who work the graveyard shift at an all-night book store.   And what a miserable job it is, too!   They have to work non-stop, are paid next to nothing, and the coffee just sucks.   Plus, they are coming to the slow realization that something really, really strange is going on at their place of business -- especially when Ryan is shot in the neck during an attempted hold up and suffers only cosmetic effects.  

The bewildered men eventually break into the boss's locked office to try to determine the reason for the unexplained occurrences, and discover he has been reading some very unusual material.  That's only the beginning, though, because eventually they realize the penny-pinching Ray (played by the inimitable Thor!!) has put in place some rather extreme budget measures....,

GRAVEYARD is sort of a short, surreal CLERKS with Lovecraftian overtones and a healthy serving of gore thrown in.    The acting is dreadful, but the film is short enough that it doesn't get on your nerves, and it's executed with a great deal of humor anyway.   It's strange, as well, but not so much as the "bonus" film on the DVD, LIVING WITH THE DEAD which actually has a longer running time GRAVEYARD.  LIVING..., is (as far as I can tell) a story of an extremely good natured apartment dweller and organ thieves.   A third feature, the aptly named FILM #3, is...., well..., according to the Fizz Films website:

Based on a Brian Fukushima Comics For Your Church strip, Film #3 is a short about microwaves and procreation.

But by far the BEST "extra" is the inclusion of the incredibly amateurish video for the Thor! song, "Walking Through the Graveyard" -- this is worth a look if only for the "ha-ha" factor.  Thor! himself does not appear in the video, but a plethora of amusing characters lipsynch the silly lyrics.  I particularly enjoyed the suitably unimpressed bearded viking and the guy with the sock puppet, but the best bit was when the performers try to bend a metal bar in their mouths.  Anyone get that reference?

RATING:     

GRAVEYARD was vaguely amusing, but mostly boring; so low budget it can't fail to be lackluster.  It gets one head bob for an interesting concept idea, even though the execution left much to be desired.   The other head bob was earned for this short film's use of musicians as actors; if not for that, I don't think anyone would seek it out.

Nada -- are you kidding?   This film's budget couldn't afford nudity!

SCENES THAT MAKE ME GO "HMMM...,":


1. When Ryan is shot in the neck, then realizes he's not only still alive but also basically physically unharmed, his reaction is more "hmmmm" than "AAUUGH!"   He doesn't even want to call a doctor!

2. When James begins to voice his suspicions about how they've been reanimated, Ryan remarks: "Ray can't be a necromancer -- he drives an SUV!"  So what -- he thinks necromancers are ecologically responsible?

3. When a young woman comes into the store to buy a paper, she stares at Ryan's ruined face but says nothing.  He just shrugs and tells her it "isn't as bad as it looks," and she walks away without comment?  Guess people aren't that concerned with the well-being of others at that time of the morning!

4. There are a couple of deleted scenes in the "Extras" of this film, but a word of warning:   If you're squeamish about bodily fluids, I'd skip them.

DID YOU KNOW...,:

 -   This short film is chock full o' Canadian musical talent!  Toren Atkinson (Ryan) is the lead singer The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets, a band dedicated to "promoting the literature of H.P. Lovecraft".

 -  Butch Murphy, who plays the hold-up guy, is the singer for the Vancouver band Bughouse 5, whose music is "a mix of rockabilly, blues, swing, and rock 'n' roll".

 -   Frontman for the legendary punk band D.O.A., Joe "Shithead" Keithley, appears in this film as the vagrant.  You can find out more about Joe at his Sudden Death Records website.

 -   And of course, miserable bastard-boss Ray is (somewhat extremely) acted by '80's novelty-act metal singer, Jon-Mikl Thor..., Thor! as I like to call him.  You can catch up with Jon-Mikl's current goings-on at his official website, Thor Central.   But ever so much more amusing is this little gem of our boy's appearance on the Merv Griffin Show in 1976 -- not very metal, but perhaps the most genuinely scary thing you'll find on these pages!!

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