HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES
2003, Lions Gate Entertainment

DIRECTOR: Rob Zombie   PRODUCER: Andy Gould

STARRING:  Sid Haig,   Bill Moseley,   Sheri Moon,   Karen Black,   Chris Hardwick,   Erin Daniels,   Jennifer Jostyn,   Rainn Wilson,   Walton Goggins,   Tom Towles,   Matthew McGrory,   Robert Mukes,   Dennis Fimple,   Harrison Young,   William H. Bassett,  Irwin Keyes,   Michael J. Pollard.		   

Okay, okay, I know that strictly technically speaking, HOUSE..., is not a "rock and roll horror movie", since the plot has nothing to do with rock and roll.   BUT -- since Rob Zombie wrote and directed it, it has a kickin' soundtrack, AND it's a great "B" movie, I'm including it (after all, there are only so many strictly rock and roll horror movies out there!)

HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES starts at Captain Spaulding's place;   Captain Spaulding is a trash-mouthed good old boy who hawks gasoline and fried chicken from his "Museum of Monsters and Madmen".   This museum is a typical '70's roadside attraction, except that it includes a "murder ride" -- a sort of "haunted house" where the menacing figures are famous murderers of the past, and whose modus operandi is detailed by Captain Spaulding himself.

The museum is happened upon by a group of college-age kids who are actually writing a book on offbeat roadside attractions, so naturally they have to tour the facilities.   While on the murder ride, they hear the tale of local legend "Dr. Satan" -- an insane asylum intern who performed hideous experiments on the helpless inmates.    Once his experiments were discovered, the locals lynched him and left his body hanging from a tree.   However, the next day his body was missing, with no explanation and no trace.   Captain Spaulding tells the kids that the "Dr. Satan tree" is within a stone's throw of the museum, and naturally Jerry (one of the young men) just HAS to know where the tree is so he can go see it.   Captain Spaulding tries to dissuade him from going, but Jerry is determined.

On the way to the tree it begins to rain, and the kids (Jerry, Denise, Bill and Mary) pick up a beautiful blond hitch-hiker named Baby, who appears to be somewhat strange.   Baby tells Jerry that the "Dr. Satan Tree" is right by her house and she'll be glad to show him where it is.   Unfortunately on the way there the car gets a flat, and they have no spare.   But Baby tells them that her brother has a tow truck and can fix their car.  

Unfortunately fixing the car requires a few hours, so the kids stay at the Firefly house and meet the extended family.   There is Mama Firefly (who is extremely friendly to Jerry), and her brood:   in addition to Baby, there is the huge, deaf and horribly scarred Tiny;   mechanic Rufus, Jr. (a/k/a R.J.); cranky Grampa;   and the enigmatic and sinister albino Otis.   Alas! The kids have stumbled upon the HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES, and no good can come of it!

Needless to say, the kids run afoul of their magnanimous hosts and end up in hot water, just in time for halloween!    The events get stranger and stranger leading up to the movie's surprising ending, which is a VERY nice change from most of the horror movies I've seen lately.

RATING:       

There was a LOT of hype about this movie, due to all the delays in it's release.   Unfortunately when a movie gets a build-up like HOUSE..., horror fans' expectations build to dizzying heights and there is no way ANY movie can satisfy everyone.   Such is the case with HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES:   A lot of people had a lot of expectations, and many were disappointed.   I am not one of those people, however.   I think HOUSE..., is exactly what Rob Zombie intended it to be:   A tribute to the classic "B"'s of the '70's, with his own signature on it.   So to Rob I say:  BRAVO!!    I sure hope HOUSE II is in the works, so I can see more of Captain Spaulding and psycho Otis' adventures!

There are several shots of nude women in the movie's "video flash"-type interludes.

SCENES THAT MAKE ME GO "HMMM...,":


1. When the kids get to the "Museum of Monsters and Madmen", the girls are very bitchy about going in and taking the murder ride.  If they're writing a book on offbeat roadside attractions, why would the girls have such an attitude about visiting the museum?

2. Mary must be the bitchiest woman in Texas, because she has an incredibly snotty attitude toward the Firefly clan who are graciously helping the kids out.   And this is BEFORE she finds out Baby is putting the moves on her man.

3. The cops go to the Firefly house to look for the missing kids.   When they don't return, why don't cops swarm the place?

DID YOU KNOW...,:

 -   Sheri Moon ("Baby") is Rob Zombie's real-life long-time girlfriend.

 -  Bill Moseley ("Otis") also played psycho "Choptop" in TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE II.

 -  Rob Zombie wasn't the only musician on the HOUSE..., set.   Bill Moseley ("Otis") has a band with GUNS 'N ROSES guitar player Buckethead, called CORNBUGS.   For more information about Bill and his band, visit Chop Top's BBQ.



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