KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK   
1978, Hanna Barbera Productions in association with KISS/Aucoin Productions

DIRECTOR: Gordon Hessler   PRODUCER: Terry Morse, Jr./Hanna Barbera Productions

STARRING:  Gene Simmons,   Peter Criss,    Ace Frehley,    Paul Stanley,    Anthony Zerbe,   Deborah Ryan   Carmine Caridi		   


So this is it -- the movie that embarassed KISS, even in the era of KISS "action figures" (sure looked like Barbies to me!) and pre-packaged face painting kits.   Paul Stanley has been quoted as saying that as the official screening of this movie progressed, he kept scrunching further and further down in his seat because he was so unhappy with what he was seeing.   But (and maybe this is easy for me to say now) I say:  For cryin' out loud, it was the '70's -- everything was cheesy then!   And what do you expect from a made-for-tv movie, one shot at an amusement park, no less??

Our story begins at Magic Mountain, in Valencia, CA; Melissa and her boyfriend, Sam, are having a fun day at the park, enjoying all the rides.   But Sam decides that he needs to check in at his place of work -- he works for the amusement park's robotic creator, Abner Devereaux.   And Sam is suspicious; he explains to Melissa that "some things are going on I don't understand."  He tells his beloved that he will meet up with her later and they'll go to the KISS concert at the park, scheduled for that evening.  But it is not to be -- during the course of his investigation, Sam stumbles upon a secret compartment, which he enters; the door closes, and you hear Sam scream.

Sometime later, Melissa is getting worried about Sam and at approximately the same time, the park owner is having a tense conversation with the aforementioned Mr. Devereaux (the "Phantom of the Park" of the title.)  It would seem Mr. Devereaux is neglecting his responsibility to see the rides operate safely, focussing instead on his robotic creations.  And, to make matters worse for the park owner, Mr. Devereaux demands more money for his research, and expresses his disgust at the featuring of a KISS concert at the park.  Neither party is pleased at the course the conversation takes, and immediately afterward a fuming Mr. Devereaux encounters a trouble-making trio of leather clad biker miscreants.  But Abner sees the potential in them....,

Meanwhile, Melissa's search for Sam leads her to Abner Devereaux's subterranean robotic lab.  Mr. Devereaux is kind, but not entirely helpful to Melissa, telling her things about Sam that don't seem in keeping with what she knows about her fiancee.  She leaves somewhat bewildered, and after she After she departs we learn the reason for Abner's misdirection:   Sam has been transformed into a mechanical zombie who mindlessly does Mr. Devereaux's bidding.  And then we learn Sam isn't the only one -- Abner Devereaux is on a campaign to bring everyone under his control, filling the park with human robots and transforming it into the sort of attraction HE thinks it should be!!   Such a textbook evil genius he is!

But there's a fly in old Abner's ointment, besides the relentlessly-inquisitive, not-to-be-dissuaded Melissa.   Or, more specifically, FOUR flies, and their names are Gene, Ace, Peter and Paul -- KISS!  Will the greasepainted superheroes be able to put a halt to Abner Devereaux's dastardly plan, and reunite the young lovers?   Only the Demon (and the Spaceman, and the Catman, and the StarChilde) know for sure!,

RATING:       

As previously stated, my opinion is that all '70's movies are somewhat cheesy, especially when seen twenty plus years later.   But to be honest, even as a kid I recognized that this movie wasn't a cinematic triumph:  the effects are (and were) pretty bad, and KISS weren't actors!   But I was -- and still am -- a KISS fan who has a thing for haunted house exhibits and I LOVE the scenes that take place there.  Frankly, if you're not a KISS fan yourself, KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK will be a waste of time for you, but if you ARE -- then beg, borrow or steal a copy of this campy gem (but hands off MINE!)

None (made for tv movie -- duh!)

SCENES THAT MAKE ME GO "HMMM...,":


1. What is up with Gene's voice in this movie?"   Even as a kid, I found the growling and the special effects INCREDIBLY silly.

2. Superheroes or no, sitting around the pool in the Southern California heat in full KISS make-up and costume has to be uncomfortable!!

3. At the onset of his robotic "duel" with KISS, the sinister Abner Devereaux states that he "may be outnumbered, but he is not outmanned."  Isn't this backwards?  After all, AD's "soldiers" are robots, so technically they are bodies, and therefore qualify as numbers.  They are not, however, men (except Sam.)

4. When KISS enters the haunted house in search of Abner, no one remarks upon the fact that the mechanical monsters are all functioning.   Aren't the superheroes suspicious that the power is still on, even with the park closed?

5. During the KISS concert, Paul's choker/necklace is clearly seen falling off; and yet, a second later, it's been put back in place-- while he's playing the guitar.  Hey man, I know they're superheroes, but....,

DID YOU KNOW...,:

 -   KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK was intended as a step along manager Bill Aucoin's plan to transform the band into superheroic icons -- hence the comic book and "action figures".    Unfortunately, the movie also saw the demise of said plan.

 -   According to the book "KISS and Sell" Peter Criss' thick Brooklyn accent rendered his lines unintelligible.  So, unbeknownst to the band, actor Michael Bell was brought in to dub over Peter's spoken lines -- and Peter was extremely angry upon discovering this fact -- at the film's premiere!!

 -   Bill Hudson, ex-husband of Goldie Hawn, father of actress Kate Hudson, and member of '70's singing act "The Hudson Brothers" fame, appears in KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK as the "man in KISS booth."

 -   Don Steele, a popular U.S. dee jay and radio personality, appears in KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK as the emcee for the KISS make-up contest.   He also appeared as "Screamin' Steve Stevens" in the cult classic, ROCK AND ROLL HIGH SCHOOL.

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