NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR
1986, Simitar Entertainment

DIRECTORS:  Jay Schlossberg-Cohen,   Phillip Marshak,
Tom McGowan,  Gregg Tallas.   
PRODUCER:  Jay Schlossberg-Cohen.

STARRING:  John Phillip Law,   Cameron Mitchell,   Marc Lawrence,    Charles Moll,   Meredith Haze,   Ferdy Mayne. 		   

NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR is an anthology of three "vignettes", tied together by virtue of the fact that the concerned parties are being discussed by God and Satan, who are riding on a doomed train.   None of the stories have anything to do with rock 'n' roll, THAT connection comes in with the trains "entertainment" which is billed as a rock 'n' roll band.   Actually, it's only a "band" by the loosest of definitions:   The singer is a break-dancing LOVERBOY reject, and the musicians are a bunch of twitchy model-types.   And they only play one song over and over, an irritatingly haunting number called "Dance With Me".  So much for the rock and roll!

Tale #1 (sorry, I didn't catch the name) is a confusing (something else the stories have in common) tale of a hotel/mental institution/body parts harvesting operation which is stumbled upon by a pair of newlyweds.    She is done away with by the staff, but one of the doctors has something else in store for the hunky husband:   He's going to be her sex slave!   After a period of enslavement, the hunk has his revenge!

Tale #2, A/K/A, The Death Wish Club tells the story of a young woman who is led into stripping and porno movies by a creepy older man.   Eventually, she meets a hunky young man and falls in love, which infuriates the older man.   By a combination of charm and bribery, he gets the young couple involved in a club of weirdos obsessed with death, and eventually the meetings turn into different versions of Russian Roulette, where one group member dies.   But eventually, the evil older man is vanquished, and the young lovers are permitted to live their life unmenaced by him.

The Nightmare Never Ends, tale #3, is by far the most confusing.   I really couldn't figure out WHAT was happening, except that it had something to do with an immortal demon man and a female doctor who was chosen by God to destroy the demon.   Of course, by this time I was really bored, so maybe I just wasn't paying attention.   Anyway...,

RATING:  NO head bobs!

Boring, confusing, and unoriginal. 'Nuff said.

LOTS of gratuitous nudity, though not enough to keep Bob awake.

SCENES THAT MAKE ME GO "HMMM...,":


1. I was too bored by this movie to think about it much, and I'm NOT watching it again.

DID YOU KNOW...,:

 -   Richard Moll, who plays the psychotic orderly in tale #1 and the atheistic husband in tale #3, also played the dim- witted "Bull" on "Night Court".

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