THE RATING SYSTEM

The burden of presenting this site is not on my shoulders alone, no! Let me introduce you to my rating expert, Hubert
(pronounced Ee-bear.  Get it? Movie reviewer Hubert..., Ebert? Yuk-yuk!)  Anyway, here Hubert is, hard at work
watching schlocky metal horror movies for your persusal...., and giving his "nod" (or not) to each!!





         Four head bobs --   The best of the worst!!   Brilliant, collectible trash!   A must see!



         Three head bobs --   Pretty darn good.   Close to the top of the trash heap, only a little damp.



       Two head bobs --   Eh.  Soggy and so-so.   Still, a few redeeming factors.



       One head bob --   Only mildly interesting to the metal fan.   Watch if you have absolutely nothing
else to do, but know you're going to cringe.   A lot.



     NO head bobs --   Blech, unwatchable!   A do-it-yourself root canal with a garden weasel is
preferrable to this.  The very bottom, greasy, dripping goo muck layer of the trash heap.



    NUDITY:     Because nudity (specifically, female nudity) is such an important factor in ANY movie to Bob, I have
dubbed the nudity specifics about each movie "THE BOB FACTOR", in honor of him. "THE BOB FACTOR" will be
represented by this symbol:



    SCENES THAT MAKE ME GO "HMMM...,":     These are scenes you should particularly look out for, either because they are
inordinately amusing or..., well, they make you go, "hmmm...,"



    DID YOU KNOW...,:     Here is where I will post facts about the films, actors, and related matters.




Go to the wonderful MOVIE REVIEWS!!



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