THE RATING SYSTEM
The burden of presenting this site is not on my shoulders alone, no! Let me introduce you to my rating expert, Hubert
(pronounced Ee-bear. Get it? Movie reviewer Hubert..., Ebert? Yuk-yuk!) Anyway, here Hubert is, hard at work
watching schlocky metal horror movies for your persusal...., and giving his "nod" (or not) to each!!
| Four head bobs -- The best of the worst!! Brilliant, collectible trash! A must see! | |||
| Three head bobs -- Pretty darn good. Close to the top of the trash heap, only a little damp. | |||
| Two head bobs -- Eh. Soggy and so-so. Still, a few redeeming factors. | |||
| One head bob -- Only mildly interesting to the metal fan. Watch if you have absolutely nothing else to do, but know you're going to cringe. A lot. | |||
| NO head bobs -- Blech, unwatchable! A do-it-yourself root canal with a
garden weasel is preferrable to this. The very bottom, greasy, dripping goo muck layer of the trash heap. |
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| NUDITY: |
Because nudity (specifically, female nudity) is such an important factor in ANY movie to Bob, I have dubbed the nudity specifics about each movie "THE BOB FACTOR", in honor of him. "THE BOB FACTOR" will be represented by this symbol: |
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| SCENES THAT MAKE ME GO "HMMM...,": | These are scenes you should
particularly look out for, either because they are inordinately amusing or..., well, they make you go, "hmmm...," |
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| DID YOU KNOW...,: | Here is where I will post facts about the films, actors, and related matters. |
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