ROCK 'N' ROLL FRANKENSTEIN is a story of ambition, greed, grave robbery, reanimation of the dead,
and sexual confusion..., with the added bonus of having something in the storyline to offend basically
everyone who might be watching it. And it's not accidental, no indeed! This movie
sets out to offend EVERYONE in some way: Jews, Catholics, straight men, gay men, all women, and..., well,
the list just does not stop.
It seems band manager Bernie Stein is having trouble hanging onto his talent. Singers keep
leaving his service when they get a little bit of fame, the ungrateful bastards. Never mind that
Bernie is greedy, fat and uncaring; he's convinced the problem is them. He realizes he
needs to OWN his next discovery, so he enlists the help of his nephew, Frankie Stein, who has discovered the
secret to reanimating dead tissue with embryo brain matter. But Bernie is a real bastard, who
insists on unquestioning loyalty; he wants to "own" EVERYONE he does business with, and that includes
his nephew.
Y'see Frankie has an "unhealthy attraction" (a-HEM!) to the deceased, and Bernie helped him
out of a legal jam. In return for the help, Frankie has been forced to sign an exclusive contract with his uncle,
and all his work becomes his uncle's property. And here is where Bernie's brilliant plan comes in:
He reveals that he plans to gather the body parts of legendary dead rock 'n' rollers: Jimi Hendryx's
hands, Keith Moon's legs, Sid Vicious' butt and Elvis' head, and have Frankie build the ultimate rock star who, once reanimated,
will belong to Bernie exclusively. For the grave robbing tasks Bernie has
drafted stoner Iggy, whom he controls by giving him drugs. In Iggy's opinion, "A mind is a terrible thing not
to waste".
And Iggy's love of chemicals leads to the main problem of the film: Iggy breaks into the world's largest
collection of deceased famous people's sexual organs to steal Jim Morrison's..., ummm, member. He gets it,
but in a moment of panic it accidentally gets dropped into a jar of hydrochloric acid. Well, he cannot go
back without a penis, so he grabs the closest substitute: Unfortunately, THAT penis belonged to Liberace.
So the "monster" (A/K/A King) gets reanimated, and everything seems to be going well except that King is having conflicting
sexual urges. His brain wants women, but his.., ummm, member only gets aroused by men and
gerbils. This is causing him major problems, but when the problem is found out and Frankie tries to fix it,
he finds they cannot separate the..., ummm, member without killing King. And King's sexual confusion is killing his
creativity, so no one is happy. Madness ensues, and King begins killing people, including Frankie, a groupie, a
Catholic Priest (and all I can say about THAT is EWWWWWWWW!) and Bernie.
Eventually, King realizes that he must die to rid himself of his "unnatural urges" so in an incredibly bizarre scene in
a gerbil storehouse, he uses a wench to rip the offending organ from his body. King dies, and the..., ummm
member crawls away, laughing hysterically.
I really can't recommend this movie to ANYONE. While it doesn't take itself seriously,
it's just too gross, too offensive, and -- for a straight woman -- too gay. And SERIOUSLY I have
nothing against gay men, but the gay images in this movie are just too much for me. And too much
for my husband, who was a little dismayed at the subject matter. And I'm an animal lover, so the
gerbil abuse wasn't too funny to me, plus the scene in the Catholic church..., well, let's just say that
despite the catchy tunes and occasional clever line, I can't find any redeeming traits to this movie.
 |
A couple of groupies try to turn
on King by baring their breasts. |
SCENES THAT MAKE ME GO "HMMM...,":
| 1. |
Basically, the whole movie
made me go, "hmmm..," (but not in a good way!)
|
