Okay, I'll admit it,   SHOCK 'EM DEAD had a major strike against it straight out of
the box, in my opinion: It's star, Traci Lords. Essentially, she's a wreched
actress. Now, I know most of you have probably heard someone say that Traci is a good
actress, but many of us have also heard someone say that Pam Anderson is smart. And let's face
it: It is invariably guys who say these things, and Pam and Traci ARE beautiful women, so guys
desperately want to believe both statements are true, when in fact they are absolute crap!
So, now that we're done talking at the shovel, the fact is that I gave this movie a shot anyway, and as it turns out it's really not that bad..., relatively speaking.
Basically, SHOCK 'EM DEAD is the story of an ultra-geeky nerd who sells his soul to the devil in return
for becoming a big-time rock star. He goes from being a loser who makes his living slinging
pizzas, to being Angel Martin, the hottest thing on the Sunset Strip. He's a guitar hero and ladies man who all the
record company execs are clamouring to sign.
Angel joins a band and promptly falls -- hard -- for the band's manager, a "sweet old-fashioned girl" (gag!)
named Lindsay, who is played against type by Lords. Problem is, Lindsay is in love with and
engaged to the band's bass player, Greg. Now, Angel should be able to have anything he
desires, including Lindsay. However, Lindsay is "pure of heart" and even with all Angel's
black magic, he's having a difficult time winning her heart.
In addition to THAT, Angel has another "small" problem: Like a vampire, he can no longer eat
regular food. In order to survive, he must kill people with a silver dagger and absorb their
life's energy while they breathe their last. Man, life at the top ain't all it's cracked up
to be, is it?
| RATING: |
 |
SHOCK 'EM DEAD turned out to be a better movie than I expected, due in a large part to the Angel character carrying
most of the story, as opposed to the Lindsay (Lords) character. True, the movie was short on plot,
but the movie appeared to have had a bigger budget than most films in this genre, and there was big hair and cool
80's "rawk garb" out the wazoo -- which is always good for an extra head bob!
 |
There were a good many gratuitous
breast shots in this movie, although none of them by Traci Lords. |

SCENES THAT MAKE ME GO "HMMM...,":
| 1. |
The band in this movie has a big time
showcase scheduled for the night after they're auditioning lead guitar players! Talk
about cutting it close!
|
| 2. |
The band's singer is just about the
silliest-looking frontman I've ever seen, and when we're talking hard rock that's pretty darn silly.
He looks like a frat boy doing Rob Halford with a LOVERBOY edge (if you can imagine!) Pretty
bad!
|

DID YOU KNOW...,:
| - |
1950'a heartthrob Troy Donahue makes
an appearance in SHOCK 'EM DEAD.
|

